Frozen but Focused: How an Ice Bath Taught Me to Master My Mind

It wasn't when I first got in.

I'd stood in the water for about 30 seconds or so before lowering into the seat.

It wasn't even when I first sat down.

But a gradual rippling presence in my mind.

As I looked into the eyes of the cold water coach, as I heard his steady, strong words of affirmation, the rippling thought rose up into a conscious wave...

"Just stop. Give up. Surrender".

I briefly followed that thought, observing where it would take me. I could see it so clearly, like a movie playing out: I would allow the constriction of my breath, disconnecting me from my physical anchor, I'd look away from the coach and allow the shivering into my body, surrender to it... not in a good way, but in a lose my sh.., swear and get out, kind of way.

But there was another option... which was to simply be... as I was... because I was in fact... doing it.

To hold myself exactly where I was. I was already succeeding... so to surrender to my own power... to allow myself to win. To believe that I could, and to continue to choose that experience and those affirmations for myself.

It was less about surrendering to the water, and more about surrendering to the version of myself I wanted to be.

What I also noticed, which was a shock to me, was that surrendering to my own power... allowing myself to win... felt like my most authentic, most empowered self.

And so all this other stuff that gets in my way and tricks me into believing that I don't have what it takes, are all stuff that has been put on me. Not necessarily by others (although, yes) but more so, by fawning into that version of myself repeatedly, I became that version, but it was never me. It was my baggage.

And as I write this, I also realised there is this mental pattern going on that this baggage-laden version of me does... it dramatically sacrifices me.

You see, the coach had me doing exercises to help my body deal with the cold before hand, alongside mental centring. So when I was in there, yes it was chilly, but really mainly my toes... I was actually... ok... as long as I focused on the positive mental chatter, instead of my icy toes, I was OK...

So this part of me that wanted me to "just stop. Give up. Surrender"... it was willing to sacrifice my body to the cold purely so I could use it as an excuse... to stop.

Because the truth was this thought process came from an energy that simply didn't want me to succeed and saw me succumbing to the cold as the way I would relent and give up. Which I actually only recognised when I started writing this to you... And that sacrifice in itself brings up the question... if that part of me wanted to me to stop, why not just get up and walk out?

Why the internal theatrics? And how often have I done that to myself before? Have I thrown myself under proverbial buses in situations where I actually was... OK, simply because there was a part of me that didn't want me to succeed?

I'm curious, have you ever found yourself in a similar situation where your mind presented you with a choice between giving up and pushing through? What energy, or core belief do you think these relate to for you?

- What internal dialogues do you recognise in yourself that may be holding you back from your own power?

- How do you handle moments of intense challenge? Do you surrender to your power or to your fears?

- Can you identify any patterns in your life where you may be sacrificing your potential for comfort or fear of failure?

And - is your subconscious as dramatic as mine is??

*Superspeed video of me in the ice bath!